TrickorTreat
by Goth
Summary: DISCONTINUED: What happens when the crew of the Bebop get into Halloween? And why is Spike wearing Faye's clothing? Is that a hot dog suit on Ein?
1. Halloweenie?

(A/N: Damn, I'm just coughin up fics like there's no tomorrow, I guess it's this week I got off a school! ^_^ Well, I thought I'd try something new, and since I've gotten kinda into Cowboy Bebop (thanks to one night when I was bored and watched Adult Swim) I'd thought I'd write a COWBOY BEBOP fic!!!!!! *evil laughter* This is my first anime fic…so don't stab me to deep with that knife of doooom!)

Disclaimer: Me?  Own Cowboy Bebop?  Nah, I think I'll stick with my whore bag of a puter.

          It started off as the usual morning on the Bebop; Jet was cooking up something that a half famished man wouldn't eat, Faye was hogging the bathroom, Ed was hanging from some pipe with Ein looking up at her, and Spike was passed out on the couch (having gotten pissed out of his mind last night at the new bar that had just opened up).

                   "So Spike," Jet started, "how was that new bar?"  Spike just groaned something along the lines of 'fuck off'.  Jet gave his hearty chuckle and went back to burning the already burned breakfast.  

                   "SPIKE-PERSON!!!!!!!!!" Ed called out, falling on his stomach.  Spike let out a yelp then glared daggers at the little girl.

                   "What Edward?"  He asked irritated.  Ed gave her goofy smile and asked,

                   "Is Spike-person gonna get dressed up for Halloweenie?"  Spike gave a confused stare and pushed Ed off him, causing her to land on her head. 

                   "First off I don't know what 'Halloweenie' is, and second I don't care.  Now go away and stay there."  Ed was more than happy to explain.

                   "Halloweenie is when you dressed up and go door to door in search of a superb treat!!!"

                   "And what would that treat be?"  Asked a really not caring Spike.

                   "FREE CANDAY!!!"  Spike's ears perked up at the free part.  He pushed himself out of his laying down position and sat up.  Blinking heavily as the room swam around him.

                   "Ed, where did you find this out?"  Jet asked throwing away "breakfast". 

                   "On internet!  Of course."  

                   "Ed, we are bounty hunters, not Trick-or-Treaters," Faye added her two cents coming out of the bathroom; a flood of steam followed her. 

                   "What's a Trick-or-Treater?"  Spike asked.

                   "It's the person who goes and gets the candy, Ed already told me about Halloween."

                   "But it's free!  And it's food, the Internet says how to make the costumes!"  Ed begged.

                   "Well, it IS free…" Spike thought aloud, "And it certainly sounds better than whatever Jet has the knowledge of cooking…" He earned a fork thrown at him from Jet, who was still in the kitchen. 

                   "Well, you all can go but I'm staying here!"  Faye exclaimed walking off to somewhere.

                   "Aw, come on Faye-Faye!"  Ed pleaded.

                   "Nope," Faye called from somewhere.

                   "It's ok Ed, Faye-Faye is just scared."  Spike said, in a mocking-tone.

                   "What?!"  Faye stormed into the room, "What did you just say and call me?!"  

                   "I said that Faye-Faye is scared."  Spike said in monotone.  Ed laughed and ran away yelling, "FAYE-FAYE IS A SCRADIE CAT!!!!!!"  Faye growled.

                   "I don't see you going?"

                   "Well, I am.  I want the free candy." 

                   "He's right Faye, we're a little low on money, we should each go Trick-or-Treating just for something to fill our stomachs."  Jet added walking to the storage room to see if there was anything to eat.  Faye looked around, defeated, she mumbled,

                   "Fine, I'll go."

(Yes, I know that was kinda short but I'm not wasting my time if no one likes it so far.  Tell me what ya think)


	2. Costumes?

Disclaimer: Disclaimers are like the gayest thing ever….who the hell would think anybody would actually own another person???  Well, actually I kinda do own people…but not Cowboy Bebop…I wish I owned Spike….

          Spike slowly closed the door to Faye's room.  Ed had informed all that Halloween fell on the 31st of October; that was only 13 days away.  As he walked down the dark hall to his room, he hoped that Faye wouldn't notice the clothes and make up he had stolen.

                   _'I didn't steal anything from her, I'm just borrowing 'em…' _Spike thought as he opened the door to his room.  He flipped on the light.

          He threw the clothes in a pile on his bed and looked through them again.  There was a black tube top, a short black leather skirt, purple fish net stockings, knee-high black boots, and (since he only had boxers) a bright pink thong.  The make-up consisted of the usual, black eyeliner, dark red lipstick, and black eye shadow.  He would've preferred something along the lines of blue make-up…but no. 

          Spike gave a deep sigh, he couldn't believe he was going to cross dress for Halloween…it's for the candy, he kept reminding himself.  Hearing Faye and her Red Tail fly in, he quickly threw the stuff in his closet.  He held his breath as he heard Faye walk past his room to hers.  Spike had no idea why he was so shaky…after all Faye was going to find out about his costume sooner or later.

          He gave a yawn and turned off the light.  He was so excited about Halloween.  Even though he didn't fully understand the whole thing about It…hey **free** candy he kept telling himself.

          Ed held up the costume she had made, grinning sinfully.  Ein crouched and whined in the corner as Ed approached him, laughing pure evil.  She jumped on Ein and held him down as he whimpered and tried to escape; she put on his costume easily.  Standing up to admire her work.  

                   "Ein look good."  She said coo-ing him.  Ein just whimpered.  "Ein will be a hot dog for Halloweenie, cause Ein has a long body like a hot dog!" A pause and then, "Maybe Ed should go as a mustard bottle?"  She thought aloud.  Ein ran off, still in his costume.  Ed didn't seem to notice, she was back to the drawing board.  Maybe Spikey-Spike would let her make his costume, and Faye-Faye, and Jet-Person too!  They could all go as food items!

          Faye looked at the clock, it was 2 o'clock in the morning.  Gingerly, she got out of her hard bed and threw on her purple robe.  She walked out of her room and down the dark hall nearly crashing into a wall.  She slowly but surely made her way to her Red Tail and opened it, inside was something she hadn't wanted to take out when Jet and Spike were up.  Even if Spike was in his room at the time.

          She pulled out a bag, she had bought a Halloween costume from somewhere on earth.  It wasn't a very long flight from Mars to Earth and she had bought it at a cheap price.  She closed up her Red Tail and started the (seemingly) long walk back to her bedroom.

                   _'I bet no one will ever guess I'm gonna be a Cowgirl for Halloween…even though I don't really want to be that…maybe I'll be able to sell it and buy something else…I could be a bottle of vodka…'_ she thought as she finally reached her room.  There were only 12 more days.

          Jet sheepishly opened his eyes and slowly got out of bed.  He knew what he was going to be but he didn't know where he would be able to find it.  He turned on his computer and logged onto the Internet.  He typed in the words _Cheerleader_ and clicked search, it brang up about a thousand different sites but none of them had any way of ordering the outfit.  He dismissed the idea after finding the cost of ordering one much to high…

          He thought of another idea and typed that in, he found what he was looking for.  He decided that he was going to be a priest, a satanic priest that is.  He laughed at the idea,

                   "Fuckin child rapists," he said aloud.  Hs voice startled him.  "Maybe I could get Faye to be a nun?"  He thought aloud.   But there was still one problem, where was he going to get the costume?  

                   _'I'll just have Spike go kill some priest…well, kill might be to extreme, Spike can just go steal me one of the priest out fits…or Faye…one of those two lunk heads…'_


	3. Lipstick Crisis

(A:N- Ah, yes such a long time has passed…it's been what, almost two years. But I've finally decided to finish…but bear with me, there most likely will be heavy grammar and spelling issues…but I'll try my best at 3:18 in the mourning)

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah…Spike is tied up in the backyard like a dog, and I didn't want the rest of the crew so I ate their thumbs and threw them away. And please, if you're that much of an idiot to believe me…go away, the sight of you sicken me.

* * *

"ED!!!!" Faye's voice rang out like a tyrant in the night, echoing down the long halls and various passages throughout the ship. Storming out of her room, in an obvious huff of anger and making her way into the living area. Her green eyes, usually calm and tranquil now unruly and agitated.

"What's your major malfunction?" Spike asked as he half heartily nibbled at a stale granola bar, that he earlier found under the couch. Faye's ice cold eyes snapped in his direction, daring him to ask anymore.

"Ed, that brat took my only tube of lipstick." At that statement, Spike choked on a hunk of granola. Spewing chunks of the stale treat across the room, before swallowing the reminder of it. Faye's eyes narrowed slightly, wiping some granola from her shoulder.

_Ok,_ Spike thought_ Just don't make yourself look guilty. Act like you don't care…act cool._ "How do you know it was Ed? Maybe it was Ein."

Faye placed a finger under her chin and looked off into space. "Because, I had it on my nightstand…that short mutt could never even dream of getting up there."

"No you didn't, it was in your underwear drawer…" Spike slowly trailed off realizing what he had just said.

Faye's eyes enlarged at that statement. "And what have you been doing snooping around in there? You sick depraved fuck! So that's where all my missing thongs went!" Spike turned a deep shade of red, while taking another brave bite of granola. She took a few steps toward him and extended her hand. He looked up at her, not fully understanding anything. "Give me my lipstick," she stated coldly.

"Jet has it…he told me about everything, even," his voice broke off as his eyes got large and scanned the room, then in a small whisper he finished, "The Black Dominator…"

Faye turned as red as a tomato. With a _hmph_ she raised herself up and looked away. "Don't look now Spike, but I think that's a pubic hair in the corner of your mouth, not dog hair." She leaned in closer again. "And by the length and grayish coloration, I'd say it came from someone who doesn't shave and someone who may be staring to go a little gray down there, someone like Jet."

Spike removed the hair from the corner of his mouth and examined it, not believing it was real. And with that Faye walked out in search of Jet, leaving Spike to run into the bathroom for a couple of very understandable dry heaves.

Jet stood in the comforts of his bonsai room, quietly humming to himself as he watered his babies. The sound of water spilling from the hose, and the thought of how it seeped in the soil up through the roots to sustain life for something so beautiful and majestic as a bonsai, sent shivers down his spine. His eyes became teary as he remembered the passing of his little Jimbo (name given to one of his babies), how his most prized plant had fallen sick to a rare medical plant disease, and how Jet had been helpless to stop it. Casually, he wiped a stray tear from his eye and continued watering.

"JET!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!!!" Faye screamed as she turned the water on full blast, an insane smirk plaguing her mouth. Jet's eyes broke as he watched the water splash up dirt, and flood the floor. Quickly, he directed the hose in the opposite direction, which happened to be Faye's. "HEY! YOU ASSHOLE, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE POINTING THAT THING!!!!!" She quickly killed the water, but just a little to late, soaking wet from the waist down she continued to glare at the so-called man before her.

"It was your fault." His eyes became hard and angry. "And just what the fuck was that for, huh? You stupid wench." Jet threw the hose to the ground, ready for a fist fight, nobody, and he meant NOBODY fucked with his plants.

"Oh really?" Faye said, cocking an eyebrow while resting her weight on one foot, her hand joining at the hip. "And maybe you want to tell me what you've been doing going through my underwear, stealing my lipstick and telling Spike about my…you know."

Jet crossed his large arms, continuing to glare. "No, actually I don't know. Why don't you inform me."

Faye blushed a deep red, her green eyes falling to the floor. In a soft whisper, just barely audible, "The Black Dominator 900."

Jet's eyes got large and his mouth dropped. "That's one hell of an expensive vibrator. How the hell did you afford it? If you can afford something that expensive then you can afford to pay me back the money you robbed me of."

"AH HA!" Faye exclaimed, pointing a finger at Jet. "So you admit it, now give me my damn lipstick before I go public with this."

Jet blinked once, twice before answering. "I don't have your lipstick and I never admitted to anything. Jesus Christ Faye, what do you think I am? Some sort of gender bender? I know Halloween is in about a week, but if I really needed your lipstick I would have waited until the night of to take it. How stupid do I look?" Jet turned away from her and knelt down to his precious plants. Dirt was scattered across the floor and twigs and leaves found it amusing to accompany it.

"So you don't have my lipstick?" she asked slightly down, and now back to zero with her search.

"No. Now leave, before I sacrifice you to my bonsai." Faye turned to start down the hall when Jet's voice stopped her. "And Faye, just to let you know. Everyone, including Ed, know about your toy," Jet recalled, thinking back to when Faye had obliviously gotten careless and left it within Ein's reach. Chuckling slightly to himself as he remembered Ein dropping the recently used toy in Spike's lap.

Spike rushed from Faye's room and down the hall, running head first into her. He chuckled nervously before calmly walking toward the work out room. Once he was a safe distance from her, he let out a long sigh.

"Glad that's over," he said to no one in particular as he reached up and scratched his head. "I mean, how was I to know she only owned one thing of lipstick." Spike continued his little stroll about, not caring where he was going. And what he laid eyes on made him blink and rub them a few times. After confirming he had indeed seen a giant hot dog run across the room. "It has to be the granola bar, it just does…like the time Ed brought home those mushrooms." Just then Ed fell down in front of Spike. "This day just keeps getting more annoying by the minute."

"Spikey!" Ed cried happily, as she jumped to her feet and saluted him.

Spike grew a look of disgust before saying anything. "What are you doing, and why is there a giant hotdog running around. If I get to it, I'm going to eat it." Ed's eyes got large as the smile fell from her face. "What's you're problem all of a sudden?"

"You saw Ein's costume…it was supposed to be a surprise. And now, for saying such vile things, Spikey-spike-spike-spike is going to help Ed find and capture Ein. The wild, untamed hotdog!"

"Uh, for the last time. My name is Spike, not Spikey or any other variation of it."

Ed nodded and smiled. "Right, Captain Spikey." She jumped onto the wall and flipped in mid air, lading heavily on Spike's shoulders. Pointing furiously in the direction that Ein ran off into she loudly order, "MARCH! Left, right, left, right, left…"

* * *

(A/N: and that is all for now. I know, it was kinda off the theme and everything but don't worry. It will pick up in later chapters…which wont take me over a year to post, I promise on my life and my cats and my dogs and my fish. So, as always let me know what you think, and I will be working on the next chapters. Till then)


End file.
